Shades of Quiet
by CorporateDrone5000
Summary: Yami attempts to save his hikari from his own mind, but is love enough to break the bonds of hatred? Rated for sexual content and profanity.


Yami watched his hikari with tired eyes, leaning on the door frame of the boy's room. Yugi was currently working on some homework, just as tired as his yami. It was almost midnight.

Yugi looked up, spotting the Pharaoh, and gestured to their bed. Yami shook his head, continuing to stand. Yugi frowned, pointing to the desk with the stack of papers and Yami nodded, moving his hand in a way that murmured 'continue'. The boy at the desk smiled, dark circles under his eyes distracting the Pharaoh.

Yugi had recently been loaded down with school and had very little time to spend with the Pharaoh. Yami didn't mind, his only concern was his hikari's health. Yugi was eating less and less frequently, as well as his good friend Ryou. They would skip lunch almost every day to study and do extra classes, obsessed with their grades to the point of sickness.

Bakura told Yami about two weeks ago that Ryou wasn't sleeping anymore and would cough up blood occasionally, but would still insist on going to school. Yami was going through the same thing with Yugi; he had lost a stone and a half in a month and his weight was still rapidly decreasing.

Yugi murmured something unintelligible, running a thin and shaking hand through his tousled hair. His other half shifted ever so slightly and Yugi jumped, turning toward him with confusion swirling in violet depths. Yami stared back at him, watching the confusion turn to uncertainty, like he wasn't sure whether Yami was real or not.

He turned back to his books, rubbing his eyes and picking up his pencil. A continuous GPA of 4.0 was a hard thing to master as a first year, even harder with twice the curriculum of other students. But Yugi and Ryou surmised that the more they learned, the better they would feel about themselves.

Yami was always complimenting his koi, on his grades or his clothes or any other nitpicky thing he could think of. There would be a smile and a word of thanks, of course, but Yami could tell that Yugi was just a being of dismal confidence and bouts of depression.

The boy jumped again when his book was slammed closed by a pale hand. Yami pulled Yugi into standing with little effort, he had gotten so light. Yugi opened his mouth to speak but Yami placed a warm finger on his lips, quieting him.

Yugi didn't like being away from his work. He was so tense he trembled slightly.

The Pharaoh was putting a stop to this madness.

He pressed his lips to Yugi's, waiting until the shorter teen closed his eyes to deepen the contact. His tongue ran a wet line over his hikari's bottom lip, asking silently for entrance.

Yugi pulled away, his eyes filling with tears. He shook his head frantically, disentangling himself from Yami's arms and turning back to his desk.

Yami was staring to get angry, forcing Yugi to the bed. Pulling his shirt off and throwing it to the floor, the much elder boy was in no mood to play. Yugi whimpered in pain, the harsh treatment unlike the Pharaoh. He didn't know it was for his own good.

Yami held Yugi's wrists above his head with a gentle hand, kissing over his neck and down his chest. He felt something slightly rough on his palm and released one of Yugi's hands, bringing it down to his eye level while sliding his tongue into the boy's navel.

Yugi shivered in fear and excitement, wanting the pleasure to continue- it had been so long since they made love- but he didn't know what Yami would do when he saw the scars.

Recently he had started cutting himself. Any time Yami wasn't watching him like a hawk he would slice a thin line down the inside of his wrists with a kitchen knife, pocket knife, nail, anything he could get his hands on. Ryou showed him how to avoid his veins (he didn't want to kill himself after all, only let himself know how worthless he was), he was very nice about it. He had a lot more experience, and was much better at hiding it.

The Pharaoh frowned, bringing Yugi's am closer and closer to his face. Yugi tried to pull away but his other half was much stronger than he was. Yami wanted to scream and yell at the boy, to ask him if he _wanted _to kill himself, to leave Yami with no one, but he didn't. He would get Yugi to stop soon.

With no comment on the scabs and scars, Yami kissed Yugi's wrist and let him thread his overly thin fingers through the Pharaoh's hair.

A soft moan escaped Yugi's lips, seeming to contain the silence in a dome of pleasured anxiety. Yami made his way back up to Yugi's mouth, reaching his free hand down to the boy's clothed erection. The Pharaoh thought his libido and stamina would be shot because of his recent illness, but Yugi was just as eager to get off as he was a year ago.

Yugi was nodding frantically, the hand above his head fisting. Yami couldn't refuse that adorable face.

Swift work was made of Yugi's jeans. Even swifter work was Yami lowering his head to where Yugi wanted it to be.

Yugi almost came at Yami's first contact with his recently neglected arousal, but forced himself to hold back.

There were a few murmurs of agitation.

Yami took Yugi's cock into his warm, wet mouth, swallowing it to the hilt before sliding back up, his tongue drawing patterns on the sensitive vein on the underside. Yugi moaned again, pushing the Pharaoh's head in the rhythm that he set.

It wasn't long before Yugi was panting in effort to stave his orgasm. Yami was a sex god if you ever did see one, his ministrations dragging Yugi to the edge of sanity. He finally gave in, waves of pleasure warming his body and making every nerve ending tingle.

He was exhausted; Yami didn't want to push him, the whole point of giving Yugi head was to get him to relieve some stress and sleep peacefully. Three of his own fingers were shoved into Yami's mouth and he looked up in surprise. Yugi, with his eyes closed, was asking to be prepared. Yami moved his hand out of Yugi's reach, continuing to coat his fingers in saliva.

The Pharaoh didn't rush to undress. Within a minute, his button-down shirt and jeans were on the floor with Yugi's.

A careful digit pushed into Yugi's tight heat as far as Yami dared, slickening it for the second. Yugi wasn't in pain, if anything the fact that he _would_ be in pain made it more exciting. Masochism had made its way into his personality.

Yami really didn't want to do this to Yugi tonight, but he didn't want to refuse his hikari either.

All three fingers moved slowly in and out of Yugi's velvet channel, stretching and lubricating him. It had been too long since they last had sex for Yami to remember where all their lubricant was hidden, so he settled for more saliva before thrusting his throbbing member into his other half.

Yugi gasped, struggling against Yami's hands. His schoolwork was still only half finished.

Yami wouldn't let him go, setting a pace that would send him over the edge again with no problem. To keep him from being to uncomfortable Yami stroked his cheek, looking into his eyes. Yugi automatically calmed, staring back at the love in his other half's crimson pools.

Yugi moaned, breathing gasping breaths as Yami abused his prostate. His moans grew in intensity, the erotic fervor making Yami groan as well. There was a strangled cry of ecstasy when Yugi came, all other worries forgotten. Yami finished right after, exhaling a heavy breath he didn't know he had held. Pulling out as gently as he could, he kissed Yugi on the forehead.

The boy was closing his eyes, trying to stay awake, but the contentment of completion was making him lethargic. Yami didn't want to disturb him so he slid quietly off the bed, turning off all the lights but one at the far end of the room and getting dressed. He packed Yugi's schoolbag, turned out the last light, and left the room.

The door closed softly, the smallest whisper of a click alerting Yugi to his yami's departure. He sat up in the still warm bed, his eyes wide in the darkness. Yami had hell to pay for taking him away from his work. He stood up, pulling on some sweatpants with as little noise as possible. His body was screaming at him to sleep, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He tiptoed to the door and swung it open to find Yami sitting across from it, crying into the crook of his arm.

He didn't notice Yugi watching him and continued to cry. Why couldn't he make Yugi better? It was his fault his hikari was sick, mildly insane even. There was a warm hand on his cheek and he looked up into the cold eyes of his other half.

Yugi leaned down, kissing Yami gently and wiping his tears away. Yami whimpered, Yugi's gentle rhythm evening his breathing. He allowed himself to be pulled to standing, taller than Yugi by only a few inches. The hikari hugged him around the waist, holding him as tightly as he could.

Yami's hands moved of their own accord, pressing Yugi's head to his chest and taking a deep breath. They stood in silence for a moment before Yami pulled back, looking into Yugi's dull eyes. They no longer held the excited spark of life- a spark that would flare whenever he looked at Yami-, they were a flat, dark violet color that made the dark circles under his eyes more prominent.

Yugi tried to smile, tried to let Yami know he was fine, but he couldn't lie anymore. Yami was obviously in pain, watching his lighter half waste away, and Yugi was disgusted with himself. He brought a hand up to Yami's face, brushing his thumb over the other's lips and staring blankly.

There was a flash of anger in the solid pools and they seemed to melt, like a frozen lake in the first weeks of spring. Yami tilted his head, leaning down as he glanced from Yugi's eyes to his lips and back. Yugi met him halfway, pushing him against the wall and attacking his mouth. Yami's eyes shot open in confusion but he didn't try to stop the tenshi.

Yugi closed his cold, dead eyes for a second, and when he reopened them they were liquid fire. Yami smirked, pushing Yugi away and contemplating his change. This may be the only opportunity, he thought to himself, placing one hand on the back of Yugi's head and slamming him into the opposite wall. Yugi got the air knocked out of him and gasped.

Yami took that split second to kneel in front of the boy, kissing the skin above his waistband. Yugi trembled, his hands on Yami's shoulders. He groaned, panting heavily already.

"I'm sorry," Yugi whispered, biting his bottom lip as Yami dipped his tongue into his navel. Yami looked up.

"You have no reason to apologize to me," Yami murmured back, kissing Yugi's hip. Yugi shook his head, pushing Yami away and dropping to his level.

"I put you through too much. I don't deserve you… why did you stay?"

Yami didn't even have to think, saying the first thing that came to his mind. "I stayed because I love you. I stayed because I knew you needed me, even if you… couldn't admit it. I stayed because it's my fault you're sick, my fault you don't love yourself, my fault you hate me-"

"I don't hate you. Just because I hate myself doesn't mean I hate everyone else. I love _you_."

"Why don't you love yourself?" Yami asked, frowning. Yugi felt anger flare and couldn't hold himself back. He stood up, glaring down at Yami.

"It's none of your fucking concern, Yami. It's my own personal preference, and you have no business in it." Yami was taken aback, standing up as well. Yugi stormed down the stairs.

"It is my _fucking concern,_ hikari. Everything about you is something I want a part of!" Yami was yelling now, following Yugi to the living room. The boy whirled around, pointing an accusatory finger in Yami's direction.

"Fuck you, jackass! Do you know how many times I've considered suicide? Do you know how it feels to know you're hurting everyone around you, but not wanting to stop? I almost left you countless times to save you from that pain, but you're overbearing, overprotective shit kept me from breaking ties!"

"What we have isn't something you can just break," Yami hissed, repressing the urge to slap Yugi. "I held you back because I love you! Do _you_ know how many times _I've_ considered leaving because of your bullshit? Why should I suffer because of you?"

"Then leave! Right now!" Yugi yelled back, hot tears falling from his eyes. Yami was really pissing him off.

"Fine!" Yami narrowed his eyes, walking toward the door without a backward glance. He slammed it behind him, not really sure where he was going but knowing he wanted to be as far away from Yugi as possible.

Yugi threw himself into his bed, screaming for all he was worth. That backstabbing son of a bitch could stay the hell out of his life forever. The screams turned to sobs, Yugi clutching his pillow and crying out Yami's name.

**More? Please review.**


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